Contemplate Then I Waste

All these days just waiting for the next

Got caught in the 'what if's' stuck inside my head

Worst thoughts filled a notebook right beside my bed

I was trying so hard but I never had a chance

Nowadays I just fade, keep falling in my ways

Staying strong, wanna fall but I gotta carry on

All this ache in my heart it could never be enough

Every time I wanna give up I think about my mom

And the look on her face

Run into my room see my skin turning gray

All this pain that I felt goes to everybody else 

I cannot let it happen I will keep it for myself

This pain will be used to create something great

Understand I'm not shit but someday you'll know my name

I don't do this for the money, I don't do this for the fame

But this shit is all I got, contemplate then I waste